We already know that men and women think about things differently, but what does that mean in terms of a first date?
Women tell everyone
Whether the date has gone well or not, women can’t wait to tell their friends about it. Friends, family and colleagues will go through the date from start to finish: from the pre-date anxiety and what to wear, to the post-date debrief. Women are usually happy to reveal more personal information than men and will likely go into every single detail, from his shoes to the number of drinks they had to whether they kissed.
If the date has gone well, women want to show off and, if the date didn’t live up to expectations, they seek validation from their friends that he was the problem, not them. Men, on the other hand, do not like to share as many date details on their group WhatsApp. They don’t want to be made fun of for being too keen by their friends.
Women want men to take the lead
Although equality is important in every relationship, women secretly hark after traditional values and want a man to show his assertiveness. When speaking before the date, men should try to ascertain what sort of woman he will be dating – does she prefer bars, pubs or something off-the-wall? If unsure, I always recommend my clients to stick to classic location such as a nice cocktail bar – women like to be impressed.
Women read into everything. They overanalyse the smallest remark and comment made by their date to work out how they feel about them, or if they’re actually interested. Women will break down everything from the amount of time it takes for the guy to reply to their message, to how he said goodbye on the date.
Men don’t think in this way and won’t be agonising over what messages to send and when. Women need to remember that a man’s text is not a good indicator of how he is feeling and men need consider women’s penchant for overanalysis when contacting them. Although it might seem outdated in the modern world, to stop any confusion, I suggest men pick up the phone and have a conversation instead – women will appreciate the extra effort and men get to avoid texting back and forth.
Women stress about the small stuff
Women’s analysis doesn’t stop with texting, they will even go as far to consider the food and drink choices they make on a date. Women will worry about whether a drinks date actually means drinks, or will it progress to food? What drink to order? What food to eat? How the bill should be split? To help women out, men should take some of the stress out of the situation by choosing the wine, instigating whether to have food early on and offering to pay the bill (at least on the first date).
Women want a second date booked in asap
As I’ve established, women are often more anxious than men, particularly when it comes to dating. Women will expect men to suggest a second date straight after the first date if the evening has gone well. If this hasn’t been arranged or suggested quickly, women will worry that the guy didn’t actually like them and will get disheartened. From a man’s point of view, they do not see the urgency in arranging a second date – they prefer to wait and play it cool so they don’t come across too keen.
(To be continued)
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