Our minds are odd. They have a tendency to self-sabotage, and plant seeds of doubt. They keep us up at night by reminding us of the pressures we face the next day. They introduce unfounded anxieties. So it’s no surprise that guys can have some irrational fears in thier relationship.
You’re cheating on him and everyone knows it but him and you all laugh about it
What makes this pretty irrational idea such an emotional gut punch isn’t just the idea that you’re cheating on him. It’s the idea that you’re cheating on him and he’s oblivious to it even though it’s so obvious. In his wildest nightmare, you’ve betrayed him and meanwhile, as he walks down the street, people discreetly chortle and whisper offensive names. No one wants to be the guy people discreetly chortle at.
Secretly, you find the sex horrible
Sex is like cooking. Even if you’re terrible at it, people usually don’t have the heart to tell you. They just sort of… put up with it to be nice. What if instead of being great at sex, he’s secretly awful and you and everyone he’s ever slept with have lied to him? This is a great thought for his brain to bring up for consideration just as he’s falling asleep.
Your family hates him
Your friends hate him. Also maybe his friends and family hate him. Why would anyone hang out with someone they hate? Of course this is a wildly unfounded fear. Unless… everyone did it out of pity. Then it would kind of make sense. Not a lot of sense. But enough sense to make him laugh way harder than he needs to at your parent’s jokes to suck up juuuuust a little.
As great as your relationship is now, it’ll eventually crash and burn
Out of all these irrational fears, this one is the most theoretically plausible. Of course your relationship will either end very happily or with you two breaking up. But that’s also like thinking your crossing the street ends one of two ways: either you make it to the other side or you get hit by a car. It might be technically correct, but you can’t constantly be thinking of that.
You think he’s a deadbeat
This one could wind up stemming from some very real concerns that he isn’t as successful as he wants to be. If he thinks that, what do YOU think?
What if you murder him?
It’s not so much that he’s done anything to warrant being murdered. It’s just that, you know, if you two were sleeping in bed next to each other and you decided to wake up and murder the shit out of him you probably could. He trusts you and that makes him vulnerable.
You are kidnapped
Alternatively, he is kidnapped. How do you even deal with this shit? What does he do? How long is an appropriate wait time before moving on? What if he gets out only to find out you’ve moved on? What if he doesn’t get closure? If he seems distracted on your next vacation abroad — where most kidnappings seem to occur in movies — this is why.
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